Making SOS-TIPS happen

Totally Personal

Cultural differences
This isn't my first time in the US, but there are a couple of things I can't get used to, things that still strike me as new.
Laundry: yes, just like in American movies :) people often don't have a washing machine in the apartment, you usually take your laundry to a common laundry room in the building or even outside of the building in many cases, to a laundromat. Clothes are usually not air-dried, but thrown into a dryer. Dryers can shrink things a bit :) The load you put into a dryer should be much smaller than that, which you put into the washing machine because it will never dry. This is my laundry wisdom so far.
Ordering stuff: oh my goodness, everything is ordered online and delivered...and yes, it makes life much easier. I wasn't a practitioner back home but here I started just ordering things I need, and realized, it's great. Sending stuff back is also easy. There is one thing that is a horrible consequence of this...
Garbage: I don't know how specific this is to the places I've been in the US, but selective garbage collection is not a thing. At least, I haven't seen it happen and/or they are not making adherence to it too easy. The city I am in is basically a university town, the downtown area is full of student housing. In August-September, students are moving in- moving out, and with this, massive amounts of garbage from ordering things online and discarding the boxes, as well as large amounts of used furniture left on the street.
Frats and -I don't know what the abbreviation is of- sororities: again, I am reminded of typical American movies about college...it's true, it's all true. I still need to ask people what the advantages are of belonging to such a society, but I'm guessing: parties? I'm sure there are other perks as well. September is the season for initiations and crazy stuff that make groups of people shout chants for hours and do jumping jacks.
Bathroom stuff: so, a couple of things here. Firstly, however many "plies" a toilet paper has, it is not nearly as strong as European ones. When you shop, get the "strong" or "ultra strong" toilet paper, don't pay attention to plies because it doesn't matter. Secondly, shower heads are almost always attached to the wall. Why? Are people too lazy to hold them while taking a shower? The reason why this bothers me is that cleaning a shower/bathtub is considerably more difficult if the shower head is fixed. Or I'm not seeing the solution here...I ended up using a small washbasin to pour water on the bath walls and the tub to clear the cleaning agent. One more thing: for your first few weeks, you will always think your toilet is clogged because of the water level in the toilet bowl. In the States, it's much much higher than in the EU (at least the countries I am familiar with).
Food: I think it's much easier to eat right in the States...well, I mean there is usually a better assortment of healthy food in your average supermarket compared to Central-Eastern Europe. There is definitely a wider array of gluten free food, which is important to me in particular. But...but! It's also so much easier to eat unhealthy food. There are so many foods you need to avoid if you don't want to gain 672364782 kilos while you are in the US. Another issue is the GMO thing...Hungary is sticking with non-GMO produce, which cannot be said for the States...so I guess this is a more complex issue. There are "farmers' markets", though, at which you can buy locally grown stuff from the actual...farmers.
"I'd like to speak to your manager": I swear this works. If you can't get anywhere with the customer service representative, evidently, asking to speak to the manager gets the job done. I had been waiting for 2 weeks regarding my request to get a refund on a SIM card that didn't work. I had called three times and always been told "Your request will be approved within 48 hours, and then it'll take 4-7 business days to wire the refund." Finally, I asked to speak to the supervisor, which wasn't possible because the supervisor has to call you, but anyway, not only was my request approved, I received the full refund 24 hours after my call. Never even spoke to the manager.
Compliments and brands: People, mostly women, are very vocal about things they like about you / on you. I get a lot of compliments on my hair; at first, I thought it was sarcasm, but then had to concede no. The sentence will usually begin with "I love your <insert non-sexual noun here>". And these comments, if made about a certain piece of clothing or accessory, are usually met with the person receiving the compliment disclosing where they bought it. I had just witnessed a dialogue like this - "I love your top!" -- "Thanks! <Brand name here>!" when, a few hours later, I got a similar comment at a café: "I love your pants!"; I briefly paused and considered telling them, "Thanks! I bought it in a 2nd hand shop in Hungary 10 years ago" but then decided not to...and there was an awkward silence.

Phone fails
Despite my having much trust in J1 SIM, there were serious problems. I had gotten to Chicago and turned on my phone, it worked fine, had data and everything. Then, as we rolled into Wisconsin with the bus, I noticed the reception was gone. At first I thought it was just because we were in between places, and it's normal. But then, as we arrived to Madison, I still had no reception, could have only made emergency calls, and needless to say: no data. So I arrived in the city with no access to Google Maps and had to go to a certain address to pick my apartment keys up, and then make my way to my apartment on the other side of downtown. Fortunately, I had made some screen shots of Maps earlier and was able to use those to find the place where I picked up my keys, but after 22 hours of travel and little to no sleep, I was not at my cognitive or physical best. The following day, knowing that I cannot effectively settle in without a phone, I went and bought a new phone and SIM at another provider. I called Lycamobile, the provider J1 SIM operates through, and told them the problem. They said to contact J1 SIM. I wrote J1 SIM and they told me to contact Lycamobile. I called Lycamobile again and, in a more frustrated tone, explained the problem and demanded reimbursement for the 6-month plan I had paid for in advance. In theory, I should get a refund this week.

First month spending
I've been spending insane amounts on various things, which I know won't be true from next month onward, but still...it doesn't feel too good. I've been buying things for the apartment, hence the "not fully furnished" situation. I had to buy a new phone, see above. I think I'm spending more inadvertently because I just don't know where to buy stuff yet...like, for example, I wanted to buy a nail filer and went into a Walgreens and bought one that seemed like it cost way too much. The next day I saw a filer in a supermarket for much less. Then I got home and realized I had brought one with me from home anyway. So...making mistakes like this is everyday because I just don't have the time and energy to be more informed. Same thing with transportation. I was recently invited to a colleague's house for dinner and I ended up ride-sharing there and back, costing me 6 times as much as if I had gone with the bus. But I need time to acclimatize and get to know the city.

Due to COVID and office refurbishments, everyone in the Lab is working from home; there are some who venture in from time-to-time, but don't stay long. This may seem like a situation that makes my integration and work in general more challenging. I have been working with people from this Lab since 2017, and I'm in the fortunate position of knowing basically everyone who I will be working with in the next years.
Two weeks after my relocation, the Lab had a "retreat" in a park. It was wonderful to see everyone in person. I had been meeting up with people face-to-face, but only one-to-one (that's a lot of tripartite phrases, but could will another vis-à-vis this one). Anyway, COVID has forced people into their homes, often with their children hanging on their neck and crawling on their back, and this has made life a bit more difficult. For people living alone or not in a family, perhaps the socially deprived mundane routine has demotivated them. All these circumstances have an effect on how work begins this semester, and I'm having some anxiety about how to get my project started in terms of the tasks I cannot do autonomously.
I'm thinking an important step is establishing good communication between my supervisors and me, as well as between my two supervisors. In essence, I'd like to create an interface where the specific tasks that need to be done, as well as the progress that is being made can be easily monitored by the supervisors...and basically by anyone. I'd want this to be publicly accessible, as much of it as possible.
I'd like an office space, too. I'm having trouble finding a good desk to sit at with all the students on campus. We're currently waiting for office refurbishments to finish, hopefully in a couple of days that'll happen. I'm slowly getting invited to meetings and getting to know the major communication channels of the Lab. It helps if everyone uses one platform (e.g.: Slack or Teams), I'm not sure that's the case here. But there are some major changes happening in the Lab right now, with projects being expanded on, new projects beginning, and more generally, an aim to decentralize things in the Quantitative Ethnography community.
My motto now-a-days (hey, another tripartite expression!) is: take it slow and be patient with yourself. Relocation is more than just moving to another place; it's adapting to new surroundings and circumstances. Integration into a new social environment is more than just meeting people; it's building trust and establishing ways of communicating. And these things all take time.

Last week I had two realizations, kind of like reality slapping me in the face twice: one was about training (here) and the other was about budget (here). I'd like to jot down some thoughts on the interpretation of the budget situation I am in and also about some options I see.
First of all, I must say this hit me hard. I had planned a three-year project building on the assumption that I will have a few thousand EUR to spend on research-related stuff: equipment, programming, travel, conferences, publications. So many expenses will arise in these three years, how am I supposed to complete my deliverables? Just a couple of things so you understand the breadth of the problem:
Eye-tracking hardware: 1500-2000 EUR
Laptop: 850-1300 EUR (for conducting the empirical study)
Conference fees: averaging around 300 EUR per conference
Article processing fees: 2500 EUR (if I stick with the journal in my proposal) + any other publication
...and these are just the major expenses that popped into my mind without even giving it much thought. I have 375 EUR.

This brings me to two points on how to interpret the budget problem. Firstly, the Research, Training, and Networking costs were 11.38% of the super-gross budget. That should've rung a bell. That's way too little to begin with. Another bell that was no doubt ringing, but I just wasn't hearing it, was: there was absolutely no need to list budget items or do any calculations in the proposal. If people are giving you money, they generally want to know ahead of time where it's going. Budget is usually a mandatory part of research proposals; here it is not.
So, what do those signs mean? The MSCA IF is not for completing grand research projects of your own design. It is for securing the salary of scholars who would like to work on projects as part of an international team; ideally projects that have available infrastructure and supplementary funding (although this gets tricky as you can't be double-funded!). But you could say: "This is in the call!"...I swear, I read the call. Multiple times. It still didn't sink in. Now it's sinking in.
Even though I do feel the infrastructure is available to complete certain parts of my projects, I know it cannot be completed as proposed. The main issue, specifically, is the eye-tracking bit. Initially, we wanted to integrate three data types: eye-movement, human-computer interaction (HCI), and think-aloud. In order to have the first component, we would need hardware, which is just impossible with this budget. Other expenses can have work-arounds if we get creative. I'll elaborate later. Now, let's think about the big problem. The way I see it, we have the following options:

Option 1: Modify the Research Plan
I'm not sure what the procedure is, but I know you can officially ask for amendments to your original proposal, because...well, life is never as easy and clear-cut as proposals are. I'm guessing this would entail writing a formal explanation of a) what our original plan was, b) what we want to change, c) why we want to change it, d) what this affects in terms of outcomes, deliverables, impact, etc. I'm also guessing both supervisors would need to sign off on this and then it would be uploaded as a formal request through the EU portal. I'm also guessing the EU won't really care about this level of modification to the plan. Probably they would care about stuff like my research ending earlier or later than planned, my not being able to deliver anything, etc. So, I think this is a viable option, and to tell you the truth, I'm kind of leaning toward this. Another reason why I'm in favor of this option is because, in the grander scheme of things, we want to create a new tool for the Quantitative Ethnography community and I think more people will be able to use a tool for HCI and narratives versus a tool for eye-movement + HCI + narratives. It would be sexy to be able to incorporate eye-tracking, but this could be a next step in a future research project that has sufficient funding for needed equipment. The empirical study can be conducted just the same, in fact, more easily. The intervention can be developed just the same. Everything pretty much stays the same, we're "just" removing a data type, one component of the tool to be developed. But, I do want to make space for other viable options. So, moving on...

Option 2: Secure Additional Funding
This option would require help from the EU as well, in addition to other administrative procedures with Maastricht University (UM). The reason the EU has to be involved is to avoid "double funding", which is basically when costs for the same activity are funded twice from the EU or other entities. Would us getting additional funding for just the eye-tracking equipment constitute double funding? Would us getting funding for conferences count as double funding? In theory, all these activities are in my proposal, which the EU is - again, in theory - funding. Would it suffice for me to supply a formal budget breakdown and show that I am indeed, not being funded under the MSCA for these things? Where are these boundaries? These questions and negotiations would, I think, always take place with the project officer who you come into contact with when your contract is being prepared (before your grant period). UM would need to be contacted because, I'm assuming, there would be an overhead involved in that funding as well. Also, I believe it is in my contract to let them know about any additional funding I receive during the grant period. One major consideration here: getting funding takes time and effort. If you apply for other grants or approach companies / organizations for donations, it needs a lot of preparation, and success is never guaranteed. If I were to apply for more funding, my project would be delayed right at the beginning. Developing software is our first WP, it should begin shortly (month 3 onwards), and if we need to deal with getting more funding first, that would set us back a lot. The benefit would be pretty great, though. We could probably secure funding for eye-tracking hardware and some money to have a professional programmer help out with development. Not to mention that I could let go of anxieties related to conferences (fees, accommodation, travel) and publications.

Option 3: Allocate Interior Funding
Another alternative, I guess within the "get more funding" option, is to move some funding/resources around within the Labs/Departments already involved in the project. This involves the sensitive task of talking about this with supervisors and feeling the failure of not being able to secure your own funding, the lack of bringing funding to the Labs (in fact, quite the opposite would be happening)...I, personally, have a very difficult time imagining this conversation. When we wrote the proposal, I honestly felt like every stakeholder in the project is getting something (see section 1.2 in proposal). If I had to ask for / accept additional funding from the US or NL team, I'd...I just don't want that. But that's me and my insecurities. This is actually quite a simple solution to the problem. You would still need to notify the EU, but the administrative tasks would be easier, as interior funding is already in the system and can be managed more smoothly.

Option 4: Barter
We could, in theory, develop plans to barter as many things as possible. For example, there are probably other departments here at the University of Wisconsin (or other universities) that work with eye-tracking hardware. We could bring them into the project, if they were interested, and they might supply the equipment. In principle, we could do this for quite a lot of things we currently don't have the budget for. But this is contingent on so many factors, and right now seems like such a huge time/energy investment with so much anxiety involved...I honestly don't feel I'm personally up to this.

Option 5: Hope that No One Notices
So...um...no. Maybe with smaller things, like not publishing here but there; or like not going to four conferences, only three. These smaller discrepancies between the proposal and the actual implementation are totally understandable, I think. But not big issues like the eye-tracking component dropping out. I wouldn't feel comfortable just brushing things aside like that. And I've kind of vowed to do everything transparently...so, number 5: not an option here.

These are the only options I see now. Time to talk to the supervisors and decide.

Never say yes to a BIOS update. Postponed it for months then finally gave in last Friday morning. Blue screen. When I could finally stop crying, I took my laptop to the university tech service called DoIT. I just walked in and they started helping me immediately, even though this is a private laptop (i.e. not the university's). This kind of infrastructure and service was unimaginable for me, just want others to know: your host university will probably have a wondrous place like this as well. Make it a priority to locate the place where your tech can be fixed and where your own health can be fixed (in accordance with your insurance), should it come to this. Don't wait for these types of emergencies to arise and start looking for help then, because you will be in a panic and it'll be harder to concentrate.